I feel old.

I also feel emotionally drained and very very tired. I think this past year and everything that's happened is finally taking its toll on me.
In the few months after graduation, I think I grew up a lot more than I have in the last 4 years. It was a series of changes and big steps in a very short time, and I don't think I had time to take it all in and process everything. But things worked out pretty well, and I'm grateful for that. But I don't think I've completely recovered yet, or I just haven't had the time to.
A couple of good things came out if though. I think I've toughened up a bit :p A few harsh lessons of what happens when you care too much about things and people did the trick. So even though putting my foot down (albeit still a bit gently) makes me cringe, I think in the long term it causes a lot less distress on my part. Selfish as it sounds, I think its worse being nice to everyone and getting trodden on in the process. You can't always make everyone happy.
The other good thing is that its made me appreciate family and friends a lot more. There are a few people who will stick with you when you're going through hell, and several others who actually contribute to you going through hell, and now I know who both those groups of people are. Its also made me miss home a lot, and realise what I took for granted. By missing home I don't mean physically being back in SL, but rather the comfort and safety of family and knowing someone's always got your back. I'm also truly starting to appreciate how hard it is to be a parent, and if I could do half as good a job as my parents have done, I'd be very proud of myself.
I know this post is bordering on the line of emo, but I'm not thoroughly depressed or anything (yet :p) though the cynics out there are probably thinking I'm in denial (which could be true, but I dont think so :p) I just spent some time thinking about these things over the last couple of days, and needed to put it in down in words.
I think I need a break from life and a nice, long, relaxing holiday... Preferably on a beach with a good book, a shot of rum and some RnB :)