.. that some people (only a very few on this planet I hope) are not aware of Murphy and his laws, which I find unacceptable and almost horrendous. So being the altruistic and jobless soul that I am, I took it upon myself to compile a nice little list that should be memorized immediately and ultimately be passed down to your grandchildren (if you're lucky to live that long. Otherwise children/pets would do).
Keep in mind that there are several more out there- what's listed below is only a scratch on the surface. If curiosity still doesn't get the better of you, go get yourself checked by a psychiatrist, then browse through the rest of the laws to cheer up.
If anything can go wrong, it will.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you think.
Every solution breeds new problems.
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.
The other line always moves faster.
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone. The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.
Traffic is inversely proportional to how late you are, or are going to be.
Murphy's Law of Research
Enough research will tend to support whatever theory.
Murphy's Love Laws:
All the good ones are taken.
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night.
Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
Never argue with a women when she's tired. Or rested.
The man shalt not win the argument he started.
The man shalt not win the argument he didn't start.
If a man won an argument, it was just in his head.
Love makes believers of us all.
Translation: Love obscures common sense.
Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics:
Things get worse under pressure.
The Murphy Philosophy
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
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