Because I'm soft like that :)

“I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.”

— Shana Abé

Lyrical sync

'In a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you feel so small..' 

- True Colours

Sometimes, a song says it better than you ever could.

Of hugs and hellos :)

Leaving Sweden last month was one of the hardest things I've had to do this year. And at the time, this quote described things perfectly:

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” - Snoopy

Returning to Singapore has meant I'm finally getting a much wanted quota of hellos. It's been a bit weird being back, a sort of uprooted and replanted feeling, displaced but comfortable but also restless, all at once. All this is very much part of the global nomadic life that I've signed up for, but it doesn't make the constant transition any easier to stomach. I miss people in different countries and across different time zones, and wish I could be in several different places all at once.

Seeing the peeps here after a year though, amidst smiles, hugs and laughter, have left me quietly grateful; for the amazing people I've come to know, and the timelessness of these friendships.

The comeback post

So after almost a year of inactivity in this [Space], I've decided to make an attempt at resurrection. The truth of the matter was, I moved continents, switched from working to studying for a while, and blogged about all of it somewhere else, but now I've moved back and switched back, so it feels all right to pick right up from where I left off. It also feels like a big part of me can be found entwined in the posts and random ramblings found here, which is why I feel it's too young a chapter to close just yet.

Between Singapore, Sweden and Sri Lanka in a year, a lot has happened, a lot has changed, a lot has been seen, learnt and done. I've met some wonderful people along the way who've made my extended family into a truly global one. I also think I've gone through a metamorphosis of sorts, but I think its still very much in progress.. for now.

Stay tuned for more.. ;)

Harold's Planet

My latest little satirical discovery :D

http://www.haroldsplanet.com/mainsite.htm

..where the heart is

It's been a week of rest, rejuvenation, solitude, madness, giggles and love.
 
And I've been too lazy to update this space, or do anything that involves venturing 5m away from my bed :p

Life's been slow and relatively uneventful, but those little moments in the day have etched memories and left their own imprints in time.

It's been nice just to sleep in, nap in the afternoons and not have to wake up to an alarm. To walk along the beach at night, listen to the surf crash in and relish the salty air and the sand between your toes. To go on long drives with an endless stretch of green lights ahead of you and the radio reading the tracks in your mind. To actually have the time to think and figure stuff out, explore your options and read about things you've put on hold forever.

To wake up to that heavenly cup of tea every morning and sip it in the sunshine.

Birthdays, epiphanies, koththu roti, kimbula bunis, seafood dinners, Burger's King and home made buns. Being greeted with hugs, sleepy smiles and maalu paan. The bus rides to shake the tremors off. Meeting old teachers with their blessings and the little nephew for the first time. The mini-road trip to Negombo, and the diversion to Moratuwa. Sitting with the cousin who has a huge crush on Justin Beiber and watching all of his videos while remembering what it was like to be 13 and madly in love with the Backstreet Boys. Swapping tracks with the quarter rockstar, catching up with the girlfriends and watching movies with the sibling. Laughing over coffee with the mother and getting philosophical under the stars with wine and the father.

Regardless of everything that's been going on lately, on the inside and out, being at home has quelled it :)

A history of the Beatles, told by their hair

Breathlessness

I bet her thoughts and feelings mirror mine right now..

A week of Saturday nights (part I)

Almost.. :D

A breezy, happy and lazy evening catching up by the water with Iris. Lemon tarts, exotic $3 salads, tea and coffee and that yummy cinnamon-y scone :D Dusk settled in slowly and the sky changed colour again, my favourite part of the day :) And then came the celebration of Baldy's 25th year of existence. The quirky cafe, wine, more wine, rum, vodka, sheesha, finger food, old and new faces and chatter of the crazy kind. The moment across the room, before it was all gone. Losing himself in a drunken stupor and being drawn on, propped on a chair and then being dragged home. Lying down on the comfy cushions at Nabin's with turkish coffee and football- the craziest bet won! And a free 4am cab ride home with a musical soul I'll never see again. One heck of a night to remember :D

A lazy morning with coffee in bed, and an even lazier Sunday lunch with Mr Google at Holland Village. We never run out of things to talk about! :D Cinnamon bun madness before I crashed into bed again, temporarily. A chilled out and happy Sunday night in with Benny and the exchange of tunes, stories and news, before heading out to Chijmes (pronounced Shymes :D) for the world cup final with the boys, and girl. A battle to get seats, a walk all over City Hall and we finally ended up at a dinner table with a screen that had limited volume control. Coronas, B52s and one of the most boring matches of the world cup, with all of us periodically falling asleep. The eventual Spanish victory and a trek to McDs while waiting for the trains to start, and crawling into bed at 6.30am. 

Four hours of sleep and the visa finally arrived! I guess there's no turning back now :) The kindred spirit finally made it after a week of postponements and we caught up over Thai food and that sinful avocado milkshake, before hitting our usual grassy spot. I'm gonna miss him, specially because we're heading off in our own directions with a whole new chapter ahead.

Amidst job fair wisecracks, Candy was finally off with a suitcase bigger than her. Gonna miss her! Temporary peace with the carrot gone and the Maliban consumption in check. Picking on the shutterbug in the queue at Aston's, a dinner with the six of us and TCC for coffee (shots!) with the seven of us. And I finally met the rockstar's adopted brother :D And a food hunt at Outram led to a watered down glimpse of the KTV bars there- made for an interesting walk ;)

The sumptuous chicken and 'shroom sammich with the new Marang road dweller. And then we had to call a taxi while waiting in line at the taxi stand because none of them would stop! An unexpected dinner treat with the Bot, who'd overstocked on chicken pies, apple strudel and danish :D And a cricket club dinner-to-be with the ladies turned sleep-in till Mabuk my love arrived at midnight :) Red wine and the happy exchange of stories and laughs and fishboy crackers- the MTM KL peeps, I love you guys and my back-to-school gift! :D

Saturday passed in a happy whizz of a nice long chat with the love over coffee on the balcony, an extended Moroccan lunch, a not-so-secret visit to the office with the funny bathroom blackout episode, designer ice cream, a taxi ride to the east to go west, camwhoring at Haw Par Villa, chilling out by the river with drinks at OverEasy, the arrival of the hindu French vegetarian, the surprise fireworks, a trek to the  Esplanade, the makan sutra place, back to the Fullerton and onto Lau Pa Sat for beer and dim sum, another cab ride to Knight and Day, messing around in the painted corridor, walking up Mt Sophia to Timbre Old School, more drunken camwhoring and a sleepy Foo, and the VIP entrance into Butter Factory in slippers and shorts! Techno and tequila shots and the scribes gone wild, with the owner of the club patting the side of my face in the end :D

To be continued.. :)

Esprit de corps

Sometimes, I wish I could pack my buddies in a suitcase and take them everywhere with me. The fellowship of travelling friends!

Ace has his own EP out! How cool is that :D And I didn't even know one was in the making... Awesome stuff dude- lovin' the tracks so far. I'm so proud of you. The quarter rockstar lives on~!

The bestie celebrated her second anniversary with eyeballs! :D Haha and they're still as crazy as ever.

Baldy turned 25, and that brings our quirky friendship to a grand total of 10 years. Some things never change, and I'm glad they don't :) 

The kindred spirit is seeing his dream through, in spite of a heap of odds stacked against him. And he's doing it with such grace, I'm honoured just to be his friend.

QJ, my conscience over the phone. A skype chat turned reprimand turned laughing fit, the way only we can :)

The shutterbug is braving it on a budget, for the next couple of months. What he's doing takes guts, and I'm in awe and admiration.

Iris has designs all over the world :D Things are finally looking up for her, and settling down in a good way :)

The rockstar is rocking the socks outta China! Land of the pandas, make way for greatness. The chaos will dissipate, just hang in there a little longer and keep the faith m'dear :)

Chuahbacca and Fonco, and a weekend we will remember :D

The mad cow-boy finally has a well-deserved break from the chaos, and is touring the streets of Beijing as we speak.

My fashionista in KL and the notification madness which caused an epileptic fit :D

Jo da man has a new job he likes; Prem's smiling about the job he doesn't like.

Karish is still Karish, the girl with the wisecracks, the drinking buddy, the airport buddy, the book buddy, the close friend. 

Mr Google is on a journey of musical discovery :D The evidence of which is rattling my bathroom walls.

And friends from all over are graduating! :D Darn proud of them, for surviving to tell the tale of the NUS experience. Brings back fond memories of the moment of self-glory, exactly two years ago from Sunday.

They've all made me so happy and put a grin on my face :D One of my natural highs, in the needle and haystack life :)

Blue skies, sunshine and a tune

Sometimes, that's all it takes to get really happy :D

Where did all the yesterdays go?

It's been a whirlwind week since returning from the land of Tsingtao and Peking duck.

Hibernation for a good 12 hours till the dysfunctional toes were resurrected. The tiny one on the left is still numb :| Caught up with chica at that end of the world, and Seh Kin at this one :D You gotta love those crazy skype chats :)

Dinner, football, friends and the beach ♥ Would've been a perfect night if it hadn't rained in that annoying, drizzly kind of way. Germany waltzed through to the semis, Argentina were banished, Spain prevailed and all hopes of seeing the model from Paraguay run around nude were shot too. A walk on the beach, a hotdog stop, malibu + cokes and falling umbrellas.The comfy couches at Wavehouse became beds for the night, and we sleepily made our way back at sunrise after McDonalds breakfast on the way :D And I was then rechristened A Diggy/Lil Dude.. :p

The leftovers cookout on Sunday was the only activity in an otherwise blissfully lazy day, with 3 naps and coffee in bed :) Meatballs with mushrooms, chicken rice and dhal and a terrible movie :p Some ice cream would've made me feel better- the blues snuck up on me again.

A surprise in the form of Candy, and relating tales of the Forbidden City and Great Wall on Monday morning. And the planned dinner that turned into an unplanned dinner as a result of chicken pox scares and conflicting schedules. Crepes, and a good conversation with Jo da man :) Knight and day with the neighbours, which was lame overall with a few good bits inbetween. Tom Cruise is still melt-worthy when he smiles! :D though its a pity he's doing movies like this one after epic ones like the MI series and Minority Report. And then they found the trolley, pushed me up on it and watched me roll and fall off it :p The bruised elbow speaks for itself.

A company lunch and a company dinner followed by company drinks~! The Coral garden or whatever it's called has awesome cereal prawns! And black pepper beef, and prawn rolls, and mushrooms... yummmylicious. Brewerkz, pizza, cheese fries, calamari and beer- a nice evening out on a tilted chair with fun company- the newbies are cool :) Online chats about Africa, saving the world, 'white-sri lankan' babies, wine and cheese, and Fonco's 3 elements of a relationship :p And QJ met the folks in a parallel world :D

 'Like i said, I'm willing to dessicate myself to fit into your suitcase'- Chuahbacca
 'You remind me of a koala bear, because you can't hate them- Fonco

I can't believe you guys are coming all the way here to hang out before the departure! You Malaysians are crazyyy, but we love you for that very reason :)

A ladies night with two ladies, a boy, pizzas, pasta, conversations and laughs by the river :) The magician didn't show though, nor did the two Spanish serenaders... And then we randomly got off the train at Chinatown, walked into a dance, and ended up with ah balling in ginger soup at Food street :D

The sleepwalking rituals from the past are back, and I've been waking up almost every night, walking around and shifting things in my room- like posters off the wall! And I don't remember any of it till I wake up the next morning :S

'..we'll go to Barcelona, and drink sangrias by the beach all day'. Thanks babe, for keeping me sane when I lose it :)

QJ returned in one piece with stories of the family, the hill country and the cutlery at the Gallery Cafe :D A vegan lunch of Shepherd's pie and fake but organic gado gado, and a company meeting that was supposed to be reassuring but left us feeling more unsettled. A cancelled swim, a breezy tree lined walk to September and a replacement nap, before seeing the resident DJ off amidst the usual chaos that follows those two, and educating Mr Google about the 'Go Go' Dolls and Third Eye Blind ( = blind eye to him) :D

And it's finally Friday, again :) The happy sort, revolving around Maliban, skive chats about NUS rag, flag, horror modules and lecturers, gay-dars, Zam Zam and another legendary murtabak + buriyani splurge, and measuring bits of string for a shirt :D Yummy cheese and tomato sammiches and an overdue, much needed quiet night in with myself, gearing up for the weekend :) Have yourself a good one peeps!

The emotional hangover

Moods have been swinging all over the place! Mostly between sadness, restlessness and frustration. A hug much needed. Pockets of laughter and love here and there though. Thank God for the family back home and the extended family here :)

The different dynamics that define relationships. Interesting, confusing and complex, all at the same time.  

Matters of the heart- complicated stuff. The addiction-detox-recovery-relapse cycle is back, on loop. I was all right on my own, till I met you. I crossed a line there, and paid the price. I guess some things really are better left unsaid, and ignorance can be bliss.

The choice of the battles again. It's more a question of sticking with the game plan now, and making peace with the the stuff beyond my control. It's tough, when your instincts are screaming otherwise.

There's a lot going on inside, a raw ache. Reminds me of rough seas, choppy waves and rippling undercurrents. Deep breaths and temporary distractions don't seem to be working much. Messed up nights of sleep are generally a good indicator that something's not quite right. I should be excited and happy. Not worried, sad and falling apart.

Yet this too, shall pass.

What alcohol looks like under the microscope

A few favourites: click here for more :)

Pina Colada

 

Whiskey 

 

Sake

Champagne

















Margarita

Daiquiri

Bienvenue :)

'Geez that was one heck of a long trip'

'Yay! Welcome back! The whole of singapore missed you. Its been raining a lot since u left! :)'

Those were two of the first messages I got on the return. And the fatigue from 6 hour flight, the 10 days on the road and endless hours of walking over the last few days was replaced with warmth, and a big smile.

Love you guys :)

The stuff that goosebumps are made of

My favourite Lifehouse track, with Daughtry in it! I would've given anything to have heard this live :)

Of days that whizz by

Girlfriends Inc. on Thursday, both planned and unplanned :D The lunch + coffee date with chica, smiles, crazy stories, giggles and a sad 'I'll see you soon' instead of a goodbye. I really hope soon comes soon :) And then  came the harried 15 minute dinner notice, getting lost in the midst of Whampoa and a foodcourt hunt! The MTM girls and their big grins made all that worth it :D Happy exchanges and surprises over sugarcane juice while reliving the good old days.

Beerfest and Fifa 2010 made for one memorable Friday night :D Random run-ins with people from everywhere, a German loss, an American win, over 100 kinds of beer, and that crazy inflatable guitar. New friends, old friends and being hugged/high fived by random football fans. Hells Belles and Killer Queen with a crowd gone wild and table top dancing to Highway to Hell and Fat bottomed girls. For cover bands, they were seriously amazing. And the guy in Killer Queen looked exactly like Freddie :D

Food of the home-cooked kind on Saturday, when our cookout finally came to be after months of planning and postponing :p After piling things into a shopping basket almost randomly, discovering some awesome instant chicken rice, buying bell peppers of 3 different colours, and staggering home with purchases enough for a family, we got to work cutting, chopping, frying and cooking without really knowing what we were doing :D And we even had background music! End result: sauteed mushrooms, a cheesy mushroom omlette, chicken curry, dhal and chicken rice.. Yummyyy~! Topped up with a 6 pack of Erdingers and a tub of Ben&Jerry's while a second DJ dropped in for the first football match, watched Glee and snoozed in between, and woke up for the next match while the boys fell asleep :p

The boys on a sunny Sunday afternoon turned windy evening, between crepes at Tanjong Pagar, dessert and drinks at Marina Square, and a movie: the Karate Kid, and my little preview to Beijing :D 3 games of pool till midnight, and the old skills put to the test. Crazy conversations over another tub of ice cream while clad in white, comparing tongues and messing around with spoons :p

Work overload just before the conference in Qingdao. Late nights, short tempers, rocketing stress levels. I get more done though, in the later hours. And then there were the funny moments, when I tried to cut out my name cards, sliced right through them, and made QJ my slave. Checklists, powerpoint skills training, and the banner rehearsal- we make a really good team I think, and I didn't realise till now :)

All in a week's work. The great Chinese adventure begins soon~!

Rain or shine? :)

I love waking up to the sound of rain in the morning, and then promptly snuggling further under the covers. The hardest part is getting out of bed, and then staying out :p Orchard Road is flooded after the continuous rain over the last few days though. Yikes!

The deal's done at work, and it didn't go down as bad as I thought it would. Countdowns and deadlines and talk of a support group- Seh Kin you nutcase! A lot of changes coming up, and a company lunch at Zam zam that left us unconscious for the rest of the afternoon.

Reading about the past, with rain blanketing the city and sad songs playing on the pod. Slowly slipping into that dark place, again. Feeling out of control. And fighting what's slowly becoming an obsession. The bad sort.

A long lunch with a best bud, and a bubble of warmth and happiness recreated. He knows me better than I do sometimes, I swear :) Arabic tea, a buffet lunch, awesome dessert and good company- and the smile was back again :)

The drama that unfolds when trying to get to work on time. Gosh, I sometimes think I redefine the word klutz. Or simply that Murphy really has it in for me on some mornings :p

A nice roadside sit-down dinner and catch up at Chinatown with the boys, which carried on to Club St and the Screening Room rooftop. Didn't even know that place existed :) And then we hit the sports bar with the awesome music, and the girl + boy thrashed the boy + boy at Foosball! Twice :D

Good news from my favourite designer :D So happy for you buddy. Murtabak celebrations await!

Malacca happened finally, on the weekend. My last trip across the border for a while I think. And it was awesome! Details to follow soon :)

A-team is a good movie if you're looking for decent action and a twisted plot. Oh, and Bradley Cooper! Funny stuff and lots of gunfire and muscle :D 

Kicked off the first match of FIFA 2010 at home, with my relatively stable internet connection and the neighbours. Seh Kin never made it past immigration in time! And is it really that wrong to support the team with the better looking players? ;) 

A different kind of ladies night- dinner with the girls while being serenaded by a Spanish guitar duo :D A free flow of pizza and a wicked magician named Charm, while we caught up after ages. A cool and breezy walk around CQ, and the musician with the didgeridoo was on the bridge tonight :) 2 days to the wheee-kend!

m.o.n.o.c.h.r.o.m.e. Monday

The end result of a late night and lack of sleep.

A weekend of wanderlust.

Another manic Monday morning.

And the outfit that was randomly thrown together in 5 minutes, in the dark.

Always works like a charm :)

Resonance

It's strange how you can hear a song a million times, but it only hits you on a random morning when you're riding the bus to work :) 

I see a sky full of the stars that change our minds
And lead us back to a world we would not face...

The stillness in your eyes
Convinces me that I
I don't know a thing
And I've been around the world and I've
Tasted all the wines
A half a billion times
Came sickened to your shores
You show me what this life is for

-Dance with you, Live

Macaroon love ♥ Gosh, that whiskey chocolate one was divine~! After the chocolate expresso ice cream mochi :D An entertaining dinner with the foursome, and a camera gone wild. And a scooter with no helmets. And a madhatter episode in a store full of pink and rhinestones.

Now that the dust has settled, there's a weird ache that's left. Together with the realization that I was unaware of how much I care about things and people here. I hate goodbyes, even the temporary kind, but I guess every beginning starts with a goodbye of some sort.

The phone call that made my night! I went to bed grinning, and woke up still grinning :D I'm sooo over the moon for you babe! I just wish I could be there to see you through everything :)

Stumbled across this and HAD to share :D What would your caption be?

I think the emotional resonance felt when friends are going through a rough patch or a happy transition speaks volumes about the almost subconscious relation between us. It's like an extension of feelings, or the ripples of a wave. It scares me sometimes to know we're so connected, given my default 'distance' setting. But its also comforting, to understand and be understood.

Undecidedly trudging through the rain at lunch and randomly ending up in the same direction on two consecutive days. All that for kaya toast, subway and drenched cold feet for the rest of the afternoon :p And then we were treated to the weird airshow/NDP practice run in the rain! Kiasu much?  

'I feel very out of touch with the youth of Sri Lanka'- the sibling. Hahaha. I just had to put it down as quote of the week :D

A swim, a struggle to hit 10, and then a sudden surge to 30 :) And the neighbour from home turned into the neighbour in the pool! Traipsed through the long forgotten Engin block on the way to the lab and got freaked out by the one-eyed mannequin at the door :D And all those machines and robots~!

The battle against the fungal invasion continues, with Amri-1, Fungus-0 for now. I'm really not cut out for domestication though.

Apparently short people are more at risk of heart disease than tall people! Thanks for notifying me and then rubbing it in QJ :p Stef, the typo jokes and the chronicles of Chuahbacca & Pam continue. I can't believe we get away with so much nonsense sometimes :D Love you woman!

Family all over Asia, the retarded conversations and laugh out loud moments we have. Gosh! Miss talking to you dad, our sarcasm wars and wisecracks, and hearing that rumble-y laugh. Get home soon! And ma, well your innate craziness will make me smile on the worst of days. Just please stop climbing things :p

And more friends tie the knot/bite the dust!