Amri's [Space]: Laughter

Showing posts with label Laughter. Show all posts

Harold's Planet

My latest little satirical discovery :D

http://www.haroldsplanet.com/mainsite.htm

A history of the Beatles, told by their hair

Geeky thrills

When bored/procrastinating/lazy to do any work and in need of a laugh...

1) Urban Diction-ary your name:

2) Google fight over the insignificant: http://www.googlefight.com/

3) Switch your Facebook language to English (Pirate) and pretend to be one:

4) Lose yourself in xkcd, what the duck, and/or Left-handed toons

All in a day's work

Why life at work is hardly ever 'dull':

1) The story of Angel, Seh Kin and the brown Cambodian boy they've adopted. 'Nuff said.

2) a) It rains at lunch time. The lunch buddy and I go down without umbrellas.

b) We stand in the foyer, look at the rain and the sky for 2 minutes, take a chance and walk out in the drizzle, realise I have a puny umbrella with me, try both walking under it for a good 50m while drizzle turns into torrential rain, and fail miserably.

c) We then decide to go back up again and get another umbrella, but lunch buddy walks faster and ahead of me, and gets into the lift first thinking I'm waiting downstairs for him.

d) I try calling him to ask him to bring one more umbrella, but the call doesn't go through while he's in the lift, so I take another lift up.
e) He calls back when I'm halfway up, but we can't hear/understand a thing being said.
f) The lift door opens at the 17th floor and I get out, while lunch buddy frantically tries to get in, fails, and the proceeds to jam the elevator button in a panicked attempt to avoid the drones on the way out for their lunch excursion.
g) The lift finally arrives, we rush in and start heading down, only to realise that lunch buddy has brought only one umbrella with him.

*sigh*

We then trudge aimlessly through the rain for the next 20 minutes, wondering where to go and what to get for lunch. And in the middle of it all, he has to stop and show off his i am-a-lame-Phone's photo taking ability:

3) Skype conversation at coffee time (~4 pm):

[4:05:35 PM] A says: duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude

[4:05:46 PM] A says: its 5 mins past!!!
[4:07:24 PM] A says: : *raised eyebrow emoticon*
[4:07:28 PM] A says: its 7 mins now..
[4:07:33 PM] A says: does this not bother you?
[4:07:38 PM] A says: and have you forgotten the muffins?

A goes off to make coffee in the pantry, while QJ tears his hair out trying to get RefMan to work with Mabuk on the line and Seh Kin missing in action. The muffin remains untouched on his desk.

A little later...

QJ says: there's only 1 blueberry in this muffin
QJ says: false advertising
A says: has Garuda cut her hair?
QJ says: dunno
QJ says: she might have been in a fire or something
A says: in a fire? :p
QJ says: yeah
QJ says: maybe her house burned down...
QJ says: and she singed her hair
QJ says: that's what it looks like from here..
A says: aahahahaha :D

Hook, line and sinker

http://xkcd.com/

What The Duck

My latest obsession: a wise-cracking, photograph-taking duck.. :D

Destructive criticism

Digital reprography

Fill in the blanks

Less is more

Duck tape

http://www.whattheduck.net/

For those wounded in love

From Paulo Coelho's Blog: Convention of those wounded in love

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination : Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.

And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.

[Stef my love, I love you more for sharing this! :D]

A drop in the ocean

April began on a happy note :) The lack of pranks aside, I got to mediate a brain storming session and the team came up with some pretty good ideas- which are now plastered on the windows around me :D Good news in the post too- one battle won for now, though the war continues. Made someone smile, and cheered someone else up. It's those little things and split second moments that make your day :)

Lunch time adventures with QJ, which started with my Moroccan lunch treat on Tuesday and then took us back to our usual hangout. We complained about it when we were close enough, but we can't stop going back there now :p Chica had news too- I'm so happy for you babe :D There was a ray of sunlight dancing around on my desk (and tanning my redheaded neighbour) and my pod read my mind again :) One big bubble of happiness inside me.

Evocation that evening, in VIP seats! Thanks Nips- I owe you another round :D The performance was an unorthodox mix of electronic and beats, contemporary dance and unusual choregraphy- my favourites were the Indian/Javanese dance to Fade to Black, and the 'organic' dance piece with the earthy beats and subtle lighting (I can't remember the name of it :p). A happy dinner followed, with too much laughing and talk of 'waiting for something to happen'...

Then came the weekend! Road tripping, caving, 10km of white water kayakking, zip lining, building a jacuzzi, pigging out, riding atop kayaks on a lorry, cheering on Man U, pigging out some more, driving around in circles to prove the boys wrong and lots of old town white coffee in between. Ipoh, we'll be back someday :)

The scribes

When work gets you down, one of the few saving graces are the people you work with.

And this is why:

QJ: whattimeyouwannahavecoffeetoday?it's4:05alreadybuti'mnotreallyin thecoffeezoneyet-areyou?

Fonco: you sound like arwen now
Moi: :D
Fonco: but I dont look like gandalf or aragorn
Moi: Haha if only i looked like Arwen :P
Fonco: you want funny ears issit?

Moi: are you bringing the coffee or should i?
Chuahbacca: can buy here
Moi: they sell in malaysia?!
C: no la
C: of course not
C: illegal
Moi: that's what i thought
Moi: so they send everything here to SG
C: i get it from this pimp who lives near my house
C: he smuggles them along with the czech girls he smuggles
Moi: where does he get czech girls from?
C: from china of course
C: don't ask silly questions please..

QJ: straightforward onsite means no need for Chuahbacca?
Fonco: yes i think so
Fonco: i believe so
Moi: so then she doesnt have to be there!
Fonco: YES
Fonco: she does not
QJ: why are we talking about her like she's not here?
QJ: is it because she smells?
QJ: silence means yes
Moi: *awkward silence follows..*
C: what?
C silence means yes
C: yes to what?
C: I smell nice..

And on it goes.. :)

The plunge

Hehe.

Source: http://cowbirdsinlove.com/

Colour blind

Yasmin Ahmad will be missed and remembered.

Courtship in the 21st century.

Oddly true, but ever so funny... :D

'Things have changed. People don't just meet organically anymore. If I want to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex, I don't go get a new haircut. I update my profile.'

'I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.'

'He MySpaced me.'
'Oh girl I don't know about that... My trampy little sister says MySpace is the new booty call.'

- He's Just Not That Into You

White boy + Singlish = Whinglish. Go figure...

This is absolutely hilarious :D

Look out for 'Wah, I smack you boy' and the bit about the 'kancheong spider' *wink*

Thanks for this QJ!

The boy can dance :D

Of special mention: my dear ginger colleague who busted out these same moves at Zouk last weekend apparently :P

The Men's Room...

Old stuff, but still just as funny :D

It has been brought to my attention...

.. that some people (only a very few on this planet I hope) are not aware of Murphy and his laws, which I find unacceptable and almost horrendous. So being the altruistic and jobless soul that I am, I took it upon myself to compile a nice little list that should be memorized immediately and ultimately be passed down to your grandchildren (if you're lucky to live that long. Otherwise children/pets would do).

Keep in mind that there are several more out there- what's listed below is only a scratch on the surface. If curiosity still doesn't get the better of you, go get yourself checked by a psychiatrist, then browse through the rest of the laws to cheer up.

If anything can go wrong, it will.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Everything takes longer than you think.

Every solution breeds new problems.

The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.

The other line always moves faster.

When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone. The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.

Traffic is inversely proportional to how late you are, or are going to be.

Murphy's Law of Research
Enough research will tend to support whatever theory.

Murphy's Love Laws:
All the good ones are taken.
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.

Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.

Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Sow your wild oats on Saturday night.
Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.

Never argue with a women when she's tired. Or rested.

The man shalt not win the argument he started.
The man shalt not win the argument he didn't start.
If a man won an argument, it was just in his head.

Love makes believers of us all.
Translation: Love obscures common sense.

Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics:
Things get worse under pressure.

The Murphy Philosophy
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.

Why I love Edward Monkton :D

http://www.edwardmonkton.com/

Bringing the laughter back from the '80s

If you haven't heard of the British comedy series Fawlty Towers,

1) Where the hell have you been??!
2) You've seriously been missing out
3) People from Barcelona will still seem normal to you
4) I might just disown you as a friend/acquaintance/creepy stalker person who randomly reads my blog

Now, to further enlighten you on only the best British comedy ever made, other than Black Books maybe, here's my favourite episode of the lot: Basil the Rat :D

Warning: The following material has serious addictive qualities. That said, it has also brought me endless hours of joy and laughter and tears (due to the laughter).

Other episodes in the series: A touch of class, The builders, The wedding party, The hotel inspectors, Gourmet night, The germans (highly recommended), Communication problems, The psychiatrist (even more highly recommended), Waldorf salad, The kipper and the corpse, and The anniversary.

All in favour of caffeine, alcohol and narcotics ;)

The flipside

All righty so here's a long overdue collection of funny forwards and attachments that I've been receiving.. They still crack me up :D

Global warming protest...