Less of a woman?

Ok, so maybe I'm not your typical girl-next-door. Only because:

I hate poetry.

Shakespearean English confuses me.

I don't take 2 hours to get ready. I take 20 minutes. I got late because I missed the bus, not because I couldn't decide on which purple top to wear. And I didn't miss the bus because of a clothes crisis either.

Flowers are nice to get, but then they wilt and die and get depressing. And no, I can't be bothered pressing them.

Pink as a colour (particularly the hot, Barbie kind of pink) should be banned when it comes to clothes, shoes and bags. Or anything other than Barbie, for that matter.

My theory on heels: Yes, they are God's gift to short people. And yes, they can be sexy and make other women go all 'oooh aahh'. But they're not meant to be worn for running in MRT stations, for a picnic in a park when it rained the night before, for 2km hikes and for people who can't handle the extra 4 inches of height without tripping and walking like you're balancing on stilts (I belong to this last category).

I won't let you buy that $700 Coach leather bag if its going to sit in your closet and never see the light of day.

I can't understand why you would rebond your hair if its already dead straight. Think of all the other things you could do/buy with that money (no, not pink stilettos). AND you don't have to sit for hours in the salon with your hair smelling like a chemical factory.

Just how awesome are skinny leather pants if you can't sit down in them?

I'd fail Make Up 101. I only know that the first layer that's supposed to be put on is foundation, but after that it gets complex and confusing. And seemingly very time-consuming. If I ever have to put makeup on because I look too hideous to be seen without it, I'm outsourcing the job.

Epilators scare me.

When talking about Mac, I always automatically assumed it was the computer. Or the fast food chain. I was blissfully ignorant about the brand of cosmetics till very recently, when a frustrated girlfriend literally shoved me into a Mac Store to 'increase my awareness of things a girl should know'. Ha ha.

I don't own a compact. Never will. The very idea of touching up my nose in a bus while peering into a mirror the size of a postage stamp, is disturbing.

In my defence though, I was a lot worse 10 years ago; I refused to wear skirts/dresses, had no red clothes and hated anything with frills, lace and ribbons. Ok I still don't like frills, lace and ribbons.

But hey, on all other counts of being female, I'm 100% guilty.